Moments for Reading Aloud
by angeltrumpets
Summary: Inspired by Day for Reading Aloud in Ishida's 2016 Calendar. Hide is fascinated when Kaneki reads out loud. It allows him to see another side to Kaneki, to see him become passionate and excited, and it lets Hide know that Kaneki is still with him.


It wasn't the act of reading aloud itself that Kaneki hated. No, what Kaneki really dreaded was being _made_ to read aloud. Being put on the spot to speak up and read in the presence of his cruel classmates who had neither the decency to listen to Kaneki with respect nor the appreciation for how beautifully he would read.

It was evident to Hide that Kaneki might actually enjoy reading out loud to other people, sharing the stories he treasured so much, just as much as he enjoyed reading on his own. If only he could do it away from the scorn and judgement of the other children and instead with someone who truly cared about listening to him and the story he had to tell. The way that Kaneki became so easily enraptured by the content when he read was, in Hide's view, fascinating to watch. The passion and zeal he would display when reading, as if he were reading from within the book itself, was a side to Kaneki that Hide wished he could see more often.

When Kaneki had been instructed by their teacher in class to read a passage out loud, he fidgeted where he stood, his voice small and quiet, until their teacher pushed him to read louder. Kaneki's voice was dull at first, but as he continued to read, he became drawn into the story and his delivery became filled with the passionate expression that Hide was captivated by. As Kaneki finished reading the passage, the children in the class side-eyed each other, some beginning to snicker in Kaneki's direction with contempt. Kaneki sat back down in his seat, hunching his shoulders inwards as if he could hide himself.

It was the least Hide could do during his own turn reading, directly after Kaneki, to goof around as he read to draw the stares of the other children away from Kaneki. With Hide holding the book the wrong way around, combined with his silly voice and intentional mispronunciations, the attention of the class redirected to him.

At the end of the lesson, as the other children in the class left the room, some mocking comments were directed at Hide about his earlier reading. Hide couldn't care less about what they thought of him. In fact, if their scorn of him meant that they left Kaneki alone, then Hide would take it without question. Hide stayed at his desk until the teacher and all of the students had left the classroom, leaving just him and Kaneki. Kaneki was still seated, his head lowered and his gaze fixed on the top of his desk, when Hide made his way over towards him.

"Are you okay, Kaneki?" he asked as he got down on his knees beside Kaneki's desk, resting his arms on the table.

There was a silence that lingered in the air before Kaneki eventually gave somewhat of an answer.

"I hate it when the teacher calls on me like that…" he murmured, his eyes remaining focused on his desk.

It was times like these that made Hide almost despise their teacher. Kaneki clearly did not fit in with the rest of the class, yet their teacher seemed to call on him more than necessary, even when it really should have been the turn of a different student, with total disregard for how the class treated Kaneki. Even she seemed to be picking on Kaneki.

Hide leaned his head on his arms, looking up towards Kaneki to try and meet his eyes. Kaneki didn't glance towards him, but from here, Hide could see more of Kaneki's downcast expression. Hide's heart sunk at how dejected Kaneki looked, at how he was made to feel humiliated for something as simple as enjoying what he loved.

"Hey, Kaneki?" Hide said. "I think your reading was really good."

Kaneki looked up from the desk and turned towards Hide. Hide's reassurance seemed to have helped a little, but Kaneki didn't look entirely convinced.

"You do?" he asked.

"Sure!" Hide said. "I really liked listening to you read!"

This seemed to help Kaneki for the most part, although Hide could see the lingering flicker of doubt in Kaneki's eyes.

"Have you read something like that before?" Hide asked in an attempt to get Kaneki talking.

Kaneki nodded. "Yes. The words and feelings in that passage reminded me a lot of the kinds of books my father owned."

That was better.

Hide stood up from where he was kneeling beside Kaneki's desk. Kaneki also stood up, grabbing his bag as Hide made his way back to his desk to grab his own bag.

"You know, Kaneki," Hide turned to him as they headed out of the classroom together. "You can always read to me if you ever want to."

Kaneki paused mid-step. "Really?" he asked, staring at Hide in surprise.

"Of course!" Hide said, smiling at Kaneki earnestly. "Like I said, I like hearing you read!"

Kaneki averted his eyes, trying to hide his small smile that appeared at Hide's genuine words.

"Thanks…"

Hide heard a sigh. He looked up from where he was lying on his bedroom floor to see Kaneki slowly closing the book he had been reading and laying back onto the pillows of Hide's bed, closing his eyes as he did so as if to process what he had just read.

It had become a regular occurrence over the years of them spending time together. The two of them quietly lying around in Hide's room, reading or listening to music, simply enjoying being in each other's presence.

Hide left Kaneki to think to himself for a few moments before he spoke. "Just finished?" he asked.

Kaneki opened his eyes and nodded in response, holding the closed book to his chest in two hands.

"That was such a beautiful ending," he said, staring at the space in front of him. "Sen Takatsuki is brilliant."

Hide got up off the floor, abandoning the magazine he himself had been reading, and sat across from Kaneki on the bed.

"Well, what happened?"

Kaneki frowned. "I can't convey it to you by just telling you what happened. It's more the author's expression that makes the ending especially touching."

Hide hummed in response.

Hide's response didn't seem to satisfy Kaneki, who sat up from Hide's pillows. He opened the book to flick between the last pages, biting his lip as he did so. He ran his finger along one of the pages until he reached a paragraph that made his eyes light up.

"Like here!" he said. "Take this part for example! I'll read it out…"

Kaneki turned to face Hide more directly, leaning forward slightly as he did so. He began to read the passage out loud, his voice starting out even and low until he let himself be swept away by the words that had touched him. There it was, Hide noted, the passionate sound of Kaneki's voice appearing as he continued to read, the special sort of excitement that Kaneki would display when it came to his books.

From the dynamics in Kaneki's voice, Hide could pinpoint the sentences that had struck a chord with Kaneki the most. Not only was Hide fascinated by the sound of Kaneki's voice whenever he read, he also valued these moments as the times where Kaneki would be the most open. Kaneki read the words as if they were his own, connecting with the author so deeply that it gave Hide a glimpse into Kaneki himself, his inner thoughts that he wouldn't, or couldn't, express out loud by himself.

"You see, Hide?" Kaneki said when he finished reading. "I know you think the endings of Takatsuki's books are usually sort of depressing, but the way Takatsuki describes the protagonist's realisation so _vividly_ -"

Hide may not have been able to personally relate to what Kaneki rambled on about, but he would always be happy listening to Kaneki talk so excitedly to him.

Hide entered his apartment, leaning against the door to close it as he exhaled heavily. He removed his cap from his head and tossed it onto his couch as he headed towards his bedroom. He ran his fingers through his hair, which had grown longer than he had even realised. If it were months ago, he would have gone to get it cut if it had gotten to this length, but he couldn't care less about his hair right now.

Although it was tiring working all day at the CCG while simultaneously keeping alert for any pieces of information which may be of use to him, going back to his own place afterwards offered little rest.

At least there weren't any perceptive investigators here that he needed to keep oblivious appearances in front of.

Once he reached his bedroom, Hide made his way over to his desk and turned the desk lamp on. He looked upon the piles of paper on the desk, most of them notes that Hide had written up in his room himself. Information on ghoul movements, latest ghoul incidents, Aogiri Tree…

Hide's eyes wandered away from his desk and around his room, until they came to rest at his bookshelf. After instances of Kaneki's aunt "accidentally" discarding Kaneki's precious books, Hide had offered to mind Kaneki's books himself. He had allocated a spot on his bookshelf specifically for Kaneki, so that Kaneki could rest with the knowledge that they would be kept safe and sound.

Many of Kaneki's books still remained there, even after Kaneki had moved into his own apartment and he didn't need to worry about his aunt anymore. Kaneki didn't have enough space to take all the books back at once, and besides, he hung around Hide's place enough that it was probably more convenient to keep some there anyway.

After months of the books not having been touched however, a layer of dust was beginning to settle on them. Hide tore his gaze away from the bookcase and forced himself to turn back towards his desk.

He was going to see Kaneki again, and return those books to him.

Hide wouldn't rest until he found Kaneki.

Hide could barely believe that Kaneki was still here at times. He worried that if he ever let himself totally relax and feel relief at Kaneki's return, he would wake up one day to find Kaneki gone without a trace again, with no explanation and no way of reaching him.

Hide didn't know if he would be able to handle Kaneki disappearing on him again.

The two of them were in Hide's apartment. Hide stood in the doorway to the bedroom, observing Kaneki, who was sitting up in the bed, his head down reading a book, just like he always used to. A lamp was on the bedside table next to him, lighting up the room with a warm orange.

If it weren't for the white hair that hung down in front of Kaneki's eyes as he read, it would almost be as if nothing had changed from the way they used to be.

Almost.

Hide silently made his way over to the bed. Kaneki looked up from the pages of the book at the feel of the bed dipping with Hide's weight as he got in, watching as Hide crawled underneath the bed covers and lay himself down next to Kaneki. Once Hide seemed comfortable, Kaneki turned back towards his book to resume his reading. He shifted the book into his left hand so that he could place his right on Hide's head, absentmindedly running his fingers through Hide's hair as he read.

Hide stared up at Kaneki. Usually at the pleasant feeling of Kaneki's soft touch in his hair, Hide might have been tempted to close his eyes and drift off to sleep. Right now however, Hide instead felt like taking in the moment to look at Kaneki's face.

Hide hadn't realised just how precious moments like these were until they had suddenly become missing from his life. Moments where he could stop and take the time to look at the person he cared for the most, feel him there beside him, listen to his voice…

"Kaneki…" Hide said quietly. "Could you… please read to me?"

Kaneki blinked in surprise at the request. After a few moments of stunned silence, Kaneki nodded and began to read from where he was up to.

Kaneki's voice began sounding like it always had when he started to read out loud, low and even. It took much longer than it used to, however, for Kaneki's voice to reach the point that Hide knew meant that Kaneki was becoming absorbed by the book, the sound that Hide had missed. It was definitely a lot fainter now, but it was there. Hide closed his eyes as he listened to Kaneki reading, so he could focus on Kaneki's voice, treasure this moment, pay such close attention that he could be sure that he would never forget the sound of Kaneki's voice. However, when Kaneki finished reading the passage, the sudden loss of his voice and the silence that followed it pulled Hide back and made him open his eyes again.

Hide lightly tugged at Kaneki's t-shirt in a wordless request for Kaneki to lie down with him. Kaneki reached over Hide to place the book on the bedside table, before shifting his body further down the bed until he was lying down on his back next to Hide. Once Kaneki was settled, Hide wrapped his arms around him and rested his head near Kaneki's shoulder.

"Hide, is there a reason you wanted me to read to you?" Kaneki asked. "Not that it was any problem doing so, of course. It's just that you're not usually the one to ask…"

Hide bit his lip as he fiddled with the fabric of Kaneki's shirt.

"It's…comforting," he answered after a pause. "The sound of your voice…"

"My voice?"

Hide tightened his hold around Kaneki's body and buried his face in Kaneki's shoulder. "Hearing your voice means you're still here with me." Hide's voice had dropped to a whisper.

Kaneki stared at Hide, who remained quiet, keeping his face hidden from Kaneki.

"Hide…" he said softly. "Look at me."

Hide hesitantly raised his head from Kaneki's shoulder. Kaneki rolled over off his back so that he was now resting on his side, facing Hide. He pulled himself back slightly so he could bring his hands up to cup Hide's face.

"I'm not going anywhere, Hide," he said, his voice soothing and his eyes meeting Hide's. "I'm staying right here with you."

Kaneki closed his eyes as he leaned forward to gently press his lips against Hide's forehead in a reassuring kiss.

"I promise, Hide."

Kaneki drew Hide in towards him until Hide's head was settled against his chest. Kaneki's hands drifted from Hide's face down to his back, holding him close against him. Hide let his eyes close at the sound of Kaneki's heartbeat, allowing himself to relax in the feeling of Kaneki's arms around him.


End file.
